When life hands you Sake
by PhoebeOtaku
Summary: Complete and utter insanity, but enough about me... This is a collection of little jabs at one of my favorite animes, projecting my own brand of madness on the kenshingumi..R&R please
1. Drink up

Author: PhoebeOtaku  
  
Title: When Life Hands You Sake...  
  
Disclaimer: if this is the kind of stuff that might happen if I owned Rurouni Kenshin...aren't you sorta glad I don't own it?  
  
Author's notes: what's with all the random inspiration hitting me in the shower...I'm blaming it on the Shampoo....they told me it was jasmine...I swear.... Btw- I AM sober right now...for those of you that are beginning to wonder...(I make no guarantees for remaining that way though...)  
  
Warning: this is totally and utterly random. If I'm bashing someone don't take it seriously "if you can't make fun of something, you obviously don't love it enough." If people are OOC...remember that this is all in fun... AND...get some laughs, you look as though you've been reading too many angst fics lately.  
  
Orororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororo?  
  
Kenshin strode toward Saitou, his eyes a livid amber. Kaoru quivered in a corner of the dojo, her body wracked by the white heat of her turbulent emotions. Kenshin, her gentle rurouni, was ready to kill, to abandon all his vows and sever a thread of life. Hitokiri Battousai, an incarnation of raw killing power, radiated menace. The manslayer was no longer locked deep inside of Kenshin. Battousai was...he was...  
  
"Kami-sama, Battousai is SO SEXY!!!" Finally burst out of Kaoru's parted lips.  
  
Time seemed to stop as everyone in the dojo registered the electric shock supplied by Kaoru's words. Yahiko fainted, Saitou (yes, I said Saitou) actually 'oro'-ed in disbelief, and Sanosuke merely blinked several times (after all, he already knew she had a thing for tough guys...*wink wink hint hint*)  
  
Kaoru slapped both of her hands over her mouth, staring up at those around her "Did I say that out loud?" she asked as everyone sweat-dropped.  
  
Everyone except for Kenshin, who had actually somehow remained the Hitokiri through this. Battousai looked down at Kaoru, his eyes traveling almost lewdly along her form. "Just wait right there, sweetheart." He said, lust plain on his voice. "After I get rid of this trash," He gestured rudely toward the puzzled Saitou. "I'll teach you how to handle a real katana..."  
  
Orororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororo?  
  
"Ohayo! Yahiko-chan!!" cried Tsubame as she burst into Yahiko's room at the dojo. Yahiko blanched at the sight of the girl he had just been ...er....'thinking'... about.  
  
"Tsubame-chan, what are you....?" He cut off as she gave him a decidedly tight and close hug, sending through Yahiko exactly the wrong kind of sensations. He was going to die. She leaned back and looked up into his face, once again doing very bad things to Yahiko's adolescent self control.  
  
"I just wanted to make sure you got up in time to come help at Akabeko today..." she smiled innocently and shifted. 'Kami-sama, she's going to kill me!' Yahiko thought vehemently to himself.  
  
"I brought over some breakfast to share, and wanted to make sure you got some." Yahiko's gutter bound young mind turning her last phrase completely the wrong way. Tsubame finally pushed away from him and looked up, Yahiko hoped she didn't notice the whoosh of air as he let out the breath he'd been holding.  
  
"Are you coming, silly?" she asked, batting her eyes at him. Once again, Yahiko's dirty mind working wonders on the words.  
  
"Yeah... er ... I'll be there in a minute.." he said as she slid the door open. 'Thank God, she hadn't noticed... anything... that she shouldn't' he thought with a mental sigh of relief.  
  
"Oh and Yahiko-kun?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Nice bokken..." she said with fox ears and a distinctly Megumi-like laugh as she stepped out of the room, sliding the door closed and leaving an embarrassed Yahiko alone with his...er...weapon.  
  
Orororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororo?  
  
"Oh, Kenshin."  
  
"Oh, Kaoru."  
  
The couple continued with their somewhat diminished vocabulary as they lay in a most compromising position on the dojo floor. Kenshin's lust filled brain compelled him to turn Koaru's body, quickly pinning his lover almost roughly to the floor underneath him. Her bold and sensuous giggle in response let him know she liked this new tactic. Smiling he leaned down to kiss her neck, pushing against her.  
  
"Oh, Kaoru!"  
  
"Oh, Battousai!"  
  
"ORO?!?!?!!"  
  
Orororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororo?  
  
"Hello all! Welcome to the first meeting of the SBD group!"  
  
"The what?" asked Aoishi, reaching his typical two word limit. He only broke it whilst battling/philosophizing with Kenshin.  
  
"shh..." a frustrated Misao stared up at Aoishi, 'Now, when someone else is talking, silence personified chooses to make noise.' She thought furiously at him.  
  
"This is a support group for some of the best killer-slash-warriors around..."  
  
Aoishi raised his eyes to the other men in the room, all of whom had quite obviously been dragged here by the women holding each of them in place. One of them looked up and caught his eye: young Japanese man, brown unruly hair, spandex shorts and a green tank top, a name tag reading 'Hello My Name Is... Heero Yuy: Gundam Pilot...omae o korosu'  
  
Heero made a similar assessment of Aoishi: his nationality, hair, dark clothing and white trench coat, a name tag reading 'Hello My Name Is....Shinomori Aoishi: Oniwabanshu...Call me Okashira, Biatch..."  
  
Blue eyes met blue eyes, icicles hung from their line of sight.  
  
"We all know that you guys have a tough job, but it only gets tougher with lack of communication" continued the group leader "Now let's pair up and get to know one of the other people in the room."  
  
Aoishi and Heero stared at each other.  
  
"hn." (hi, I'm Heero, I'm also really hating it here. I mean, can't I just do my job without all this psycho babble.)  
  
"hn." (I'm Aoishi, I totally agree. There are enough other reasons to psycho-babble at us, why can't they just accept that we don't really like to talk and leave it well enough alone.)  
  
"nrr" (I personally think it's cause fan-girls like to hear sexy voices. So they're trying to get us to speak up more.)  
  
*blink* (totally)  
  
"GUYS!" screeched Misao "You're supposed to be communicating, ya Know! Make New FRIENDS!"  
  
*sigh* (Women...can't live with them...typically can't kill them...)  
  
*hm" (AUK characters....man, it's such a bitch)  
  
*eyebrow twitch* (AUK?)  
  
*roll eyes* (Annoyingly Un- Killable... while we're at it what does the SBD stand for in this support group?)  
  
*snicker* (Silent But Deadly)  
  
Orororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororo?  
  
"Oh, Come on Kenshin! It's not like I called out someone else's name"  
  
*impervious stare*  
  
"Kenshin, so I find your more violent half attractive...it just proves that I love ALL of you...your past, present, and future" Kaoru scrambled, looking for something Kenshin would buy. Not noticing the woggling shiny-ness of Kenshin's eyes after the last statement, she pressed onward...as if saying whatever popped into her head. "It's sort of a 'moth toward the flame' thing...innocent girl attracted to dangerous men like ...say Tenken..."  
  
"Soujiro???"  
  
Kaoru nodded and obliviously continued "Or Aoishi..."  
  
"Shi...Shinomori..."  
  
"or Zanza" with a near imperceptible shiver over the last three names Kaoru really didn't notice Kenshin's anger.  
  
"Sano...Sanosuke?" he stuttered.  
  
"Oh, and Hiko-sama" with that Kenshin lost it, he couldn't even 'oro'. During this moment of insanity and anger over the other men Kaoru found attractive, Battousai came clawing to the surface.  
  
Kaoru looked back at Kenshin and noticing the color change in his eyes, she pounced on him.  
  
"Works every time." She snickered.  
  
Battousai gave the Rurouni an extra mental shove toward the subconscious.  
  
'Sayonara, sucker.'  
  
Orororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororo?  
  
"Short people got, no reason...short people got, no reason...short people got...no reason to live..."  
  
Kenshin stared at his master sitting there sipping sake as he hummed that undeniably offensive song.  
  
"They got little baby legs and they stand so low...you got ta...pick'em up just to say hello...."  
  
Kenshin tightened his grip on the katana in his hand, knuckles white...mental images of his master's body hacked into tiny pieces...Hiko alla Hiten Mitsurugi Ryuu...it was a beautiful picture. The picture helped block out the horrible taunting song for a moment, but only for a moment.  
  
"Don't want no short people, don't want no short people, don't want no SHORT PEOPLE round me!!" Hiko sang at the top of his lungs.  
  
"THAT'S IT!!!! I'm leaving to join a revolution!" Kenshin yelled at his master.  
  
"But you haven't finished your training...and you'll just be used as a tool for your skills..." Hiko said seriously to his student's retreating back.  
  
"Beats Stayin Here!!" Kenshin called out gesturing rudely toward Hiko as he stomped down the mountain.  
  
"Ah, baka deshi" Hiko shrugged and returned to drinking his sake, humming softly.  
  
Orororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororo?  
  
End notes: The song 'short people' doesn't belong to me either. This reminded me of something I helped write before, with Alexa-chan, called Bedtime...and that was mostly GundamWing...so I couldn't resist bringing in Heero...(NOTE: I don't own gundamwing either) I'm thinking there will be more of this...whenever I think of something brilliant.. feel free to give me ideas for it ... (like chapter titles- I'm going for the phrase "when life hands you lemons, make lemonade" so I need titles like... 'make sushi' only funnier...hmmm)  
  
I'm still working on my untitled GW fic (actually now entitled 'the simple explanation'...now I need to figure out chapter titles for that too!! darn it) Still working on Betrayal...REALLY Got a Soujiro fic started.... And now there's this to keep me amused in between....  
  
Going on tour (feels like a diva) for four days (with 40 other divas, yeah chorus)... AND I've got scary scary projects and papers to do...so will be MIA for a while but I will try to do stuff ASAP (in between all the other stuff I do....heh...) 


	2. Get drunk

Author: PhoebeOtaku  
  
Title: When life hands you sake...  
  
Disclaimer: Phoebe-chan makes no claim of ownership to anything except her insanity...of which she is very possessive...  
  
Author's notes: ah....fun times.... Am actually too busy to be writing...but this was already written, so I'm just posting it with finishing touches....  
  
Orororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororo?  
  
Misao turned to Kenshin as they continued their journey "I still can't believe that guy is married" she muttered for the umpteenth time.  
  
"No kidding" Kenshin returned, shivering slightly at the thought.  
  
Misao didn't have the foresight to just stop with that "AND he implied that he has Children..."  
  
"Poor kids." Kenshin could almost see the wheels turning in Misao's brain, but was helpless to stop her thoughts.  
  
"I mean, if he has children... that means ... "Kenshin waited for her to come to the profound conclusion "that means...someone actually..." Kenshin cringed. "...With SAITOU?!?!?!"  
  
There was a pause as the corresponding mental images crashed into the helplessly vulnerable mind of the normally Genki girl.  
  
"EWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Misao screamed at the top of her lungs.  
  
Orororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororo?  
  
Jack and Phoebe sit outside the door of a swing dance collecting money and drawing smiley faces on people's hands whilst discussing Rurouni Kenshin.  
  
"I mean, it's one of the most ironic things about Kenshin fighting, he's probably the most powerful guy ever...outside of Hiko...and yet he fights with a reverse blade sword..."  
  
"Two dollars for students, five for everyone else..." Phoebe says, smiling at the new couple.  
  
"It's hilarious, take for example the kick ass fight with....." Jack pauses to draw smiley faces on hands. "with...." He blanks on the name, swing music swells in the background.  
  
"Saitou?"  
  
"Yeah, Kenshin does this really awesome 'bounce-off-the-wall-and-whack-the- sakabatou-into-the-back-of-the-enemy's-neck' move... if it were a normal katana you would just see this 'pop' *uses hands to mime a head popping off of a body*...You don't bounce back from that..."  
  
Phoebe laughs hysterically for five full minutes, every once in a while mumbling "you don't bounce back from that" while giggling and wiping tears from her eyes.  
  
Orororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororo?  
  
Misao stood nose to nose with the Tenken-turned-Rurouni. "So Soujiro-san, did you and Kamatari ever...y'know..."  
  
"What?" Soujiro asked innocently, his smile changing slightly in confusion.  
  
"Well...you know." She said raising an eyebrow conspiratorially at him.  
  
"I'm sorry Mikamachi-dono, I have no idea what you're talking about." And despite the typically dirty mind of the authoress, he really hadn't a clue as to what the genki teenager was referring to.  
  
"Well, mean since Shishio was um... occupied with Yumi...did you guys ever ...y'know.." she continued, not catching on to Soujiro's growing confusion. Unfortunately, in training Soujiro to be a perfect killer Shishio had managed to leave out many things which other, more normal, adolescent young men would have known. Such as the meaning of this increasingly mysterious 'y'know'  
  
Orororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororo?  
  
Zanza stood facing Kenshin outside the dojo, the last vestiges of sunlight fading behind him. Highlighting not only his height, but the looming shadow of his giant sword.  
  
"Ano, Kaoru-dono..." Kenshin muttered softly to the sweet girl near him, whilst a glint of something familiar seemed to linger in his eye.  
  
"Hai?" she asked quietly, fearing to anger the fighter facing them threateningly. Kenshin gestured at Zanza and the giant sword resting on his shoulder.  
  
"Think he's trying to compensate for something?" Kenshin inquired his humor now plain in both his eyes and face.  
  
"I heard that you shrimpy Rurouni Punk!" Zanza growled. "I will not lose to someone who has such a cliché sense of humor!"  
  
Orororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororo?  
  
"...YOU KNOW!!" Misao said her increasing frustration apparent as she pushed her admonishingly pointed finger onto Soujiro's nose, causing him to briefly go cross-eyed  
  
"NO I DON'T!!" Soujiro finally yelled, his smile wiped completely off of his face.  
  
"You mean you didn't?" Misao asked, taking the conversation back to a conspiratorial tone so quickly that it made poor Sou-chan's head spin.  
  
"Didn't what?" he asked, restraining himself from shuku chi-ing his cute butt as far from Misao as he could get.  
  
"Didn't ...y'know"  
  
"NO I STILL DON'T!!!"  
  
"Don't what?"  
  
"KNOW!!!"  
  
Suddenly Misao understood why this conversation had gone in circles for the past ten minutes.  
  
Orororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororo?  
  
"Wow! It's just so.... So Huge!"  
  
"I'm glad to see you're impressed with its size"  
  
"I'm sure not many people can handle it"  
  
"Damn straight."  
  
"Can I .... Can I touch it?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"You must use it a lot..."  
  
"No, only for somebody really special, Jou-chan."  
  
"ORO?!" Kenshin exclaimed not being able to stand eavesdropping anymore and burst into the room. Kaoru and Sanosuke looked up at him from where they were seated on the floor, the Zanbatou lying in between them with Kaoru's hand resting on the blade.  
  
"oro....?" He said quietly, anger leaving him only to be replaced by embarrassment at the dirty thoughts he had been having about the two of them together.  
  
"What is it Kenshin?" Kaoru asked. Kenshin cast around his mind for the first thing that he could think of.  
  
"Oro...?"  
  
Orororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororo?  
  
After Misao stated her original question, with all ambiguous 'you know's removed, she looked expectantly at Soujiro. Soujiro, on the other hand, had done nothing of the sort with Kamatari. The thought had honestly never crossed his actually very heterosexual (at least for the purposes of this portion of the fic) little mind. But Misao, in her ignorance, had unwittingly caused some more irreversible trauma to the Tenken's fragile psyche.  
  
In the brief moment it took Soujiro to comprehend the words that Misao's mouth had formed, the corresponding mental images crashed into his surprisingly innocent and vulnerable mind.  
  
"EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Soujiro screamed at the top of his lungs.  
  
Orororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororo?  
  
End notes: the "y'know" story was inspired by real life. The Jack story was real life directly. (yay swing! *step step, triple step, step step, swivel swivel* or whilst dancing with jack *spin spin spin spin...jack invents new move by importing stuff from ballroom...spin spin spin.. Miraculously end together on the same beat, triple step,... spin spin dip* I'm still dizzy...)  
  
Will work on other stuff (and this) when I get a chance... I'm think that It will be May before I get a chance... my courses have mad papers and assignments that need mad research and work, cause I'm really behind...AHHH 


	3. Party down

Author: Phoebe Otaku  
  
Title: When life hands you sake...  
  
Disclaimer: you know what occurred to me? how funny it would be if someone who Actually Did own something decided to write fanfiction for it....their disclaimer would proly be funny too...I promise someday, when I am the author of something worthy of having fans, I will write some fanfiction and read the fanfiction that others write...(and probably laugh until I cry)...but until that day...I own nothing.  
  
Author's Notes: *hangs head in shame* so sorry for not working on everything else...it's not that I'm working on this instead, this just takes no planning and stuff just sort of hits me...then takes all of five minutes to type...sooooo much different than everything else...I have some scenes written for "simple explanation' nothing for 'betrayal'...but do not fear, I will finish them...  
  
I really can't explain this one...but I couldn't explain the other ones either so whatever...I guess  
  
Orororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororo?  
  
The warm atmosphere of the Akabeko drew tons of customers. Among them the favorite dysfunctional extended family that inhabited the Kamiya Dojo. Rumors had been circulating the town about Kamiya Kaoru and the men that she associated with, especially the handsome red haired man that seemed to live with her, barely ever leaving her side. Some young girls found it romantic, while many of their mothers frowned in disapproval at the scandalous arrangement. (*phoebe is attacked by an idea for another fic* 'oh BLAST!' she yells, to the dismay of her roommate... 'AHEM...back to the spoofage') The owners of the Akabeko, however, didn't participate in the whispered rumors that surrounded the couple. Instead the staff was particularly cheerful toward them, as they were both good friends and favorite customers.  
  
Tsubame walked toward their table, winking flirtatiously at Yahiko before turning a genuine grin on the others at the table. Tae passed by behind her and waved animatedly at them.  
  
"What would you all like today?" Tsubame asked with another smile.  
  
"Well, I, for one, would really like some really hot Tae." Sanosuke said, then blanched as he realized what he had actually come out of his mouth. Tae turned twelve shades of embarrassed...rivaling the color of Kenshin's hair.  
  
"Sano, was that a Freudian slip?" queried Kenshin, after the moment of shocked silence had blanketed the table.  
  
"No, it was the stupid authoress being dyslexic again..." Sano grumbled.  
  
Orororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororo?  
  
In a crowded tropical-looking teki-hut type dance club the lights dimmed and colorful spotlights faded up onto the band. The familiar strains of the famous 'Copa Kabana' song drift up in volume. Misao, clad in a coconut bra, approached the mic. (I refrained from putting Aoishi in a coconut bra and grass skirt...but I felt like sharing the image with y'all =D Aoishi:'grrrrrrr...' ). Her backup consisted of Kenshin shirtless on the bongos, Aoishi on the drum set sporting a black shirt that read 'percussion... everything else just blows', Soujiro and Okina playing various horns (whilst eyeing Aoishi's shirt malevolently) and finally Kaoru as a backup dancer. Megumi, the other dancer, was currently MIA but they had to start the set on time or they would be subjected to more heinous torture from Phoebe-sama. Misao shot an evil grin at Kaoru before 'working her vocal magic' as she liked to say.  
  
*Her name was Kaoru, she ran a dojo  
  
with blue ribbons in her hair and a kimono cut down to there*  
  
Kaoru blinked at Misao. 'Isn't the song supposed to be about a showgirl named Lola?' she thought to herself, wondering what the genki teenager was trying to pull.  
  
*she would teach kendo and swing a bokken  
  
and while she tried to be a star  
  
Rurouni always had this interesting scar*  
  
"Oro?" said Kenshin trying not lose the beat on the bongos.  
  
*across the new scrubbed floor, they worked from 8 til 4  
  
they were young and they had each other  
  
who could ask for more? *  
  
At this point Yahiko, while helping Tsubame wait tables, was having a lot of trouble holding in his laughter. Busu was turning redder by the minute, it was just too perfect.  
  
*At the dojo. The Kamiya dojo  
  
the hottest spot south of Hakkiado At the dojo. The Kamiya dojo  
  
Kendo and passion were always in fashion  
  
At the dojo.... they fell in love .*  
  
At this point Kaoru couldn't take it anymore, she launched herself at Misao but somehow managed to trip on a conveniently placed wire on the stage floor and fell directly on top of a startled Rurouni.  
  
*His name was Kenshin he wore a pink gi*  
  
There were more struggles as they tangled with other conveniently placed cords and instruments.  
  
*he was made fun of for his hair, and he always did the laundry there  
  
and when he finished, she called him over*  
  
At this point, the struggling couple managed to regain their feet. Kenshin gave a sigh of relief before he looked down at the coconut bra in his hand and turned stark white with eyes the size of plates.  
  
"HENTAI!" Kaoru yelled, beginning to chase Kenshin around the stage. One arm wrapped around her chest, covering herself, and the other wielding a bokken that she had pulled from hammerspace (or 'bokkenspace' as the case may be.)  
  
*but bad guys went a bit to far*  
  
Kenshin ran out into the audience, fearing for his life. Kaoru chased him into a dark secluded corner, but lost all thought of beating him within an inch of his life when she realized that Megumi had been hiding in this particular corner making out with the club's bouncer, Sanosuke.  
  
*Rurouni went to Kyoto (but not by car)*  
  
Misao was running out of lyrics to improvise, but was infinitely amused by the events unfolding before her. Needless to say Zanza was a bit upset with Kenshin for interrupting his Kitsune.  
  
*and there the punches flew and bones were smashed in two*  
  
It seemed that Sano had threatened to 'futae no kiwami' Kenshin into the dirt. So Kenshin, of course, ran for his life.  
  
*there was blood and a single guy in a mummy suit  
  
but just who burned who?*  
  
Sanosuke chased Kenshin into the area backstage, the many crashes heard over the music blending perfectly with the percussion.  
  
*At the dojo. The Kamiya dojo*  
  
After one final dramatic crash, Kenshin emerged onto the stage looking very disheveled but clad in a grass skirt, Kaoru's coconut bra, and a hat consisting of lots of fruit (including pineapples and bananas). Misao almost could not contain her laughter. Saitou, from where he was running the spotlights, grinned evilly and put as much light as possible on his favorite enemy. Hiko sat at the bar drinking sake, of course, and chuckling over the state of his 'baka deshi'.  
  
*the hottest spot south of Hakkiado*  
  
The fruit hat had fallen over the Rurouni's eyes, temporarily blinding him. Misao, unable to resist, moved him around the stage like a puppet forcing him to do something that resembled 'the hula'.  
  
*At the dojo. The Kamiya dojo  
  
Kendo and passion were always in fashion  
  
At the dojo....*  
  
Sanosuke tried his best to skid to a stop as he came bounding out onto the stage, but instead crashed directly into Misao and Kenshin taking them both to the floor and tangling in the main power cord. As they hit the ground all light and sound stopped.  
  
*...they fell in love* Misao sang as loudly as she could from underneath Sano and Kenshin.  
  
Aoishi, coolly surveying the scene before him conveniently added the ever popular 'ba dumb bump ching' usually used to signal the end of a particularly corny joke.  
  
The audience burst into applause.  
  
(Phoebe walked out onstage, plugged the power back in, picked up the microphone and yelled "GOMEN, the Penguins made me do it!!!" An angry Battousai glared up at her from underneath the pineapple headdress, Phoebe ran off of the stage, fearing that he would think this a good time to break his 'no killin' vow.)  
  
Orororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororo?  
  
Phoebe sat dejectedly at her desk, finishing up the impossible take home Italian quiz, while her roommate scrambled around getting ready to leave for class.  
  
"Oh, bloody hell." Leigh groaned in her usual British accent. (Note: almost everything that my roommate says is funnier because of this accent.)  
  
"What?" Phoebe asked as her roomie stumbled to the door.  
  
"It's gonna rain." she said as she waved to Phoebe and turned to run to class.  
  
"Ciao!" Phoebe yelled at Leigh's retreating back. There was a slight pause before Phoebe slammed her head into the desk and muttered "it's taking over my life...I just can't get away..." She stared at the test with a wry look on her face just before staring to hum the catchy tune which she knew would be in her head for the rest of her natural life.  
  
Orororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororo?  
  
End notes: I don't own 'copa kabana' or 'it's gonna rain' either... hope y'all liked this installment...I was really shocked to come up with more stuff actually. As always please R&R and email me if ya feel like it (I like getting emails...they make me happy)  
  
Oh well, must be off to class....donchya just love college? 


	4. Chug it

Author: Phoebe Otaku  
  
Title: When life hands you sake....  
  
Disclaimer: I am very depressed that I don't own Kenshin, I'm even sadder that I don't own a bottle of whiskey in which to drown these sorrows...  
  
Author's notes: I'm so behind IN EVERYTHING! *cries*... and what am I doing? I'm posting this! I celebrated my birthday this weekend (with one of my friends who shares the birthday).. it was totally awesome! So consider this a birthday present from me to you!  
  
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"The BASTARD left without me!" Sano growled "I'm going to KILL him." The Rurouni was so frustrating, he had obviously decided that Sano was to weak to get involved. Getting Kenshin to change his mind was going to be as hard as... shattering a stone with your bare hands. "Maybe I should just learn how to do that before I see him again..." Grumbling under his breath, Sano set off for Kyoto.  
  
Orororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororo?  
  
"MOU! Higher, Kenshin!"  
  
"H...Hai, Kaoru-dono."  
  
"Oh! To the left, just a little bit."  
  
"Hai."  
  
Sanosuke's eye's widened as he pressed his ear to the door. He blinked as he heard a thud and Kaoru's cry of pain.  
  
"Mou, Kenshin, that hurt." She said after a moment. "Why does that thing have to be so heavy and hard?"  
  
"Seesha is sorry Kaoru-dono, Gomen." Sano heard some more rustling and scuffing around inside the room.  
  
"It's okay, let's just start over where we left off." There was a slight pause before Kenshin spoke.  
  
"Is this alright, Kaoru-dono?"  
  
"Oh, Kenshin! That's Perfect!" Kaoru gasped in delight.  
  
"Oro!?"  
  
"Just nail it already, Kenshin..." Kaoru said softly and Sano gasped at the loud pounding that ensued afterward, leaning heavily on the thin door as his shock took control of his body. The door, being thin, couldn't stand up to Sanosuke's weight and gave way, sending the tall young man sprawling into the room. 'I didn't know Kenshin had it in him' was Sano's last thought before he hit the floor hard and passed out.  
  
"Oro?" cried Kenshin as the door fell into the room with Sanosuke on top of it. The surprise causing him to loose concentration momentarily and hit himself in the thumb with the hammer he was wielding. "ORO?!?!"  
  
"Mou, it's not enough that you dropped the hammer on my foot, Kenshin. Now we have to fix the door! This is just not my day." Kaoru yelled walking away from where Kenshin was straightening the painting they had just finished hanging on the wall.  
  
Orororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororo?  
  
Sanosuke sat in the driver's seat of the little beat up car, surveying the Japanese countryside as he drove along the curving mountainous road. Megumi sat next to him in the passenger seat, for once blissfully silent. 'She's really beautiful' he thought to himself 'well, she is when she's not yelling at me or making fun of me...or being conceited...' She held a map in one hand while the other leaned next to his on the armrest that separated their seats. She looked up at Sanosuke and instead of making a snide comment, smiled at him. Sano had truly tried to deny his feelings for the foxy doctor, but he had to admit it to himself that this was a pretty damn near perfect moment. Well... it would have been, if not for the animated gabbing and bickering in the backseat.  
  
"BUT KENSHIN!" Misao griped!  
  
"Ma, ma Misao-dono, seesha is sorry that he took the last of the snacks..." Kenshin replied.  
  
Sano gave a wry look to the beautiful kitsune beside him. 'Is this what it's like to have bratty children?' he wondered to himself. The conversation from the backseat continued, gaining in volume as the little weasel girl proceeded to pummel the man that was once feared as the infamous Hitokiri Battousia. Megumi began to twitch in annoyance. Finally, Sano, not know for his patience, yelled at the source of his agitation.  
  
"You two, be quiet right now, or I'm turning this car around!" Sano yelled.  
  
"Ano... but Sano, I have to go to Kyoto...Saitou will be angry with seesha, and Shishio will take over japan!" Sanosuke cringed, the Rurouni just had to bring up the two most infuriating men ever to walk the earth...at least as far as Sanosuke was concerned.  
  
"ONE MORE WORD, out of EITHER of you, and you can WALK to KYOTO!" Sano glared with such intensity that Kenshin really couldn't help his patented response..  
  
"Oro....!?" Kenshin exclaimed, Sano promptly hit the breaks hard enough for the screech of tires to be heard back in Tokyo.  
  
"OUT!" he said, Kenshin and Misao promptly obeyed.  
  
"Man, you just Had to do that didn't you Kenshin?" Misao said sarcastically as Sanosuke sped off in the opposite direction. "But since we have all this extra time now, why don't you tell me about Aoishi-sama?" Kenshin merely 'oroed' and started to run...  
  
Orororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororo?  
  
Kenshin sat and stared dejectedly into a cup of sake, contemplating just picking up the jug. "Oi, Kenshin, what's wrong?" Sanosuke asked, more than a little concerned. After all, Kenshin brooding and staring off into space was normal, but doing so while drinking screamed that there was a problem. If there wasn't a problem, Sano was going to be very angry with Kenshin for drinking without him...  
  
"Sano," Kenshin said, letting out a sigh.  
  
"What's up, buddy?" Sanosuke intoned, becoming antsier by the second. Kenshin sighed again before continuing, looking more than a little embarrassed. "Come on Kenshin, I'm your best friend. You can tell me." Sano encouraged, now confused.  
  
"Well," Kenshin paused. "Let's just say that there are some situations where having 'God Like Speed' really isn't an asset." Sano stared at him, utterly poleaxed by the implications of that statement.  
  
"Poor, Jou-chan..." he muttered.  
  
"HEY! Rub it in why don't ya!" Kenshin yelled pitching the sake cup at the rooster.  
  
"Ano...did I say that out loud?"  
  
Orororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororororo?  
  
end notes: yeah, so being able to chug jack daniels straight from the bottle is apparently a feat worthy of praise...especially for a 'chick'... straight, no chaser, thank you very much! (hey, it was a traditional midnight birthday 'shot' for the two birthday girls...one problem... only one shot glass...heh, go figure...)...I really don't know how much I had...as it was straight from the bottle...but I can say that I remember absolutely everything from the party, was probably sober enough to drive by the time I left (though I did not drive), AND didn't have a hangover...not that I've ever experienced what I'm told is hell...  
  
This party was an abnormality in my schedule...I am not neglecting my fics to party...I neglect the fics to do work (which I'm STILL procrastinating on)...and I only neglect the work to party when it is my birthday... Conversely, I neglect work to do fics much much more than I should...so... with that, I'm off to write one of my papers... or maybe that presentation...hmmm....  
  
I may get to work on my other fics in May...lol...as most of my classes have final projects instead of exams which is why I'm so darn swamped right now... oh, blast! 


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